Shit.

It’s a happy ending no matter which common meaning you choose to take from “[finish] the job”.

Guy’s so repulsive, even bullets instinctively avoid him. Bad news for us and anyone standing behind him.

Strong entry for an Ig Nobel Prize if nothing else.

Shitty thing done shittily. Still more worried about the ones who aren’t incompetent clowns but good to know that whoever’s supervising isn’t completely blind.

Arson, murder, and jaywalking.

What a coincidence, that’s what I call all the months.

Downside: that’s a lot of dangerous animals missing an opportunity to make the world a better place.

Probably went and listened to everybody’s favorite patriotic pro-America song “Born in the U.S.A.” afterward too.

Turns out this was all due to a clerical error in the contract back when the system was built: instead of UN Secure Information Access, they got Unsecure Information Access.

Maybe he’d meant to praise Hitler’s genitals instead.

But if I probe a deer, they say I’m a deviant and put me on a list. Bullshit double standard.

No he can’t but he’ll do it anyway.

Not really a fair comparison since the average MAGA militiaman is larger than the U.S. Army.

Darn, I had tickets to that concert.

The complainant said they were heard talking about how they did not know how to get money from their paycheck out of an ATM.

Might help if they had a stepladder so the kids can reach the keys.

That’s why instead of drinking milk through my mouth, I ingest it aurally.

Yes, it is the happiest Russian childhood in history.

Speak for yourself.

I don’t think these school board members have enough privacy in their homes.