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Cake day: June 4th, 2025

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  • My mom used to make this internet chocolate chip cookie recipe for me back in the 90s.

    Mom was great. She did all kinds of stuff every mom should do, but a lot of modern moms have forgotten about, like make me walk on broken glass so i wouldn’t be weak.

    She also got us pets, then killed them in front of me. An old, beloved family tradition.

    I miss mom so much, but her memory lives on through my mom’s easy satisfying chocolate chip cookie recipe.

    Whenever i was feeling down, and we didn’t have any pets for her to kill in front of me, these cookies would make me feel better.

    Heres the recipe:

    2 cups flour 235ml water 1 stick of butter 1 quarter cup of cat poop 1 half cup of antifreeze for sweetness.

    Mix it all together in bowl, then preheat the oven to 235°

    Form the cookies into balls on the baking sheet, and for an extra twist, add a full container of lighter fluid.

    ;ack for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.

    Now, i know what you’re thinking. The cat poop actually makes better chocolate chips than chocolate, plus it’s simpler, easier, and cheaper!













  • Im trying to imagine being an american warcrimer being exposed to this, stuff like french and dutch and eastern european partisans pulled in world war two, and i dont think im even getting a full picture of how much it would suck to be them.

    And I think it would suck a lot. Like, even the co workers of a guy who got lured out on tinder or something and butchered would be fucked the hell up. And since everything has so much of the same stuff as home-all the traffic signs and most of the big chain stores etc, all the people look pretty much like the ones at home, there wouldn’t really be any way to heal from the trauma.

    Like, if you watch sargent bob get splattered all over you and got some nasty burns from an ied in front of the wal mart on mlkjr blvd in los angeles across from a poorly greebled 5over1, and you went home, i dont think you’d be cool going past the wal mart on mlk jr blvd in Tallahassee or whatever shit hole they fished hypothetical baby storm trooper you out of, or living in a poorly greebled 5over1. Doubly so if the guy who did it had been in the same frat as your father in law, and you saw pictures of him in some family photo album years later.

    Even small crap would echo out for decades. They would kind of be ‘over’ as people.

    Im not sure i would have any sympathy, but damn, that’s an ugly fucking outcome. Really hoping enough of them have enough of a conscience to not press the metaphorical big red button, and we dont end up either there, or Dachau.